Classic Horrors Club

After playing tennis at a fancy club in Santa Costa, CA, three cocky rich men and their spoiled wives split into two groups. The men head to the bar, the women to the spa. When the women are finished, the climb into their limousine where the driver has just been knocked out and replaced with an imposter. Soon after the vehicle leaves the driveway, the men get a call… their wives have been kidnapped.

In the first few minutes of Snatched (1973), we get a high-level look at the characters. During the course of its remaining running time, we get a closer look and, the more we learn about them, the more we don’t want to know. None of them are very nice and nobody has a happy ending. Even the two that come closest to being undeserving of cruel fates ultimately suffer from them, as if they’re being judged by their lots in life rather than by their actions.

Bill Sutter (Leslie Nielsen) sincerely loves his wife, Kim (Sheree North), and she sincerely loves him, but not only is she being held for ransom, she has diabetes and is without her insulin. Paul Maxwell (John Saxon) sincerely loves his wife, Barbara (Barbara Parkins), but she does not reciprocate. Duncan Wood (Howard Duff) doesn’t care about his wife, Robin (Tisha Sterling), and she doesn’t care about him.

In most movies, Bill and Kim would be reunited, Paul and Barbara would be reconciled, and Duncan and Robin would get what they deserved. This isn’t most movies. Characters die and those who survive are set to experience pain and misery the rest of their lives. Explaining how specifically it all unfolds would spoil the surprises, and while some of the twists and turns are expected, some are not.

One of the plot complications that raises Snatched above the average kidnapping film is that one of the three men refuses to pay his part of the ransom. The other two cannot raise the $3 million needed without him. Also, none of them heed the villain’s warning to not call the police and summon their friend, Frank McCloy (Robert Reed), as soon as they’ve learned what’s happened. They don’t seem to be trying very hard to get the women home safely.

However, we further learn than not all the women should necessarily be coming home. They are duplicitous and one of them claims she’s actually behind the kidnapping. Is that true, or is it a ploy to help them escape their lighthouse prison? They’ve tried everything else, including jumping from the limousine, knocking out one of their captors, and seducing another.

An interesting twist could have been that it’s the kidnappers who are sympathetic. They’re not. They’re nothing but cruel thugs following the orders of an unknown mastermind. Boone (Anthony Zerbe) shows no emotion whatsoever. Whit (Richard Davalos) is a perv who wants to take advantage of the women while they’ve got them. And Cheech is mute. To show the level of compassion these men have, Whit says of Cheech, “If you can’t trust a mute, you can’t trust anybody.”

Snatched moves at a brisk pace and there’s never a dull moment. It offers a little bit of everything, from fistfights among the men to catfights among the women. I wasn’t necessarily invested in the outcome for this unlikable crowd, but I sure wanted to see what it was going to be. Director Sutton Riley also made the TV movies Sweet, Sweet Rachel (1971) and Satan’s Triangle (1975.) Those haven’t been favorites of mine, but each one is interesting in some way.