Classic Horrors Club

Since this is the last entry into our 1980’s horror-comedy/spoof series, it’s a good time to summarize them in a way that I’ve been considering for a few weeks now. The 80’s horror spoofs can be compared to the humor magazines of the era.

For example, you have Mad Magazine, the cream of the crop. In style, quality, and humor, its movie match is Student Bodies (1981.) Next, you have Cracked. Sometimes it’s as good as Mad, sometimes it’s better, but it has a reputation for being a knock-off. Hysterical (1982) isn’t quite the Cracked of horror spoofs, but it’s like a worn and torn issue.

Then you have Crazy, Marvel’s attempt to cash in. It always had a fantastic cover, but the contents didn’t match. To a certain extent, it’s like Pandemonium (1983.) Next, you have Sick. It always had a bad cover and contents to match. I’d buy it if it parodied a pop culture phenomenon I liked, but never really enjoyed it. That’s Class Reunion (1982.)

Where does that leave today’s film, Wacko (1982)? I’d compare it, interestingly, not to Class Reunion, but to National Lampoon. As a kid, I never really understood that one. I’d see it at the bookstore and pick it up for a look, but it had too many words and for some reason (maybe Animal House) I always thought it was for college kids.

I understand what Wacko is, but it embraces the raunch that I perhaps incorrectly associate with National Lampoon… sometimes in an unsettling way. For example, there’s a running gag about Mr. Doctor Graves (George Kennedy) peeking in his daughter, Mary’s (Julia Duffy), window and under her clothing. That’s never been funny.

Most of these slasher spoofs don’t stick to just their Halloweens and Friday the 13ths. They are compelled to include references to earlier horror films of a different nature. Here, as in many of them, it’s The Exorcist (1973.) And, like Hysterical (1982), there’s an odd reference to a plain old drama. Here, it’s The Elephant Man (1980.) I guess there’s a little horror there.

The most consistent and puzzling inclusion is an emphasis on Alfred Hitchcock. The high school to which the crazed “Lawnmower Killer” returns after escaping from the “State Mental Facility” is called Alfred Hitchcock High School. There hangs a banner for the big game that reads, “Hitchcock Birds vs. DePalma Knives.”

Mary’s boyfriend, with whom she’s about to do the nasty after the Pumpkin Prom, is named Norman Bates (played by Scott McGinnis.) At dinner before the dance, he performs an excruciatingly unfunny ventriloquist act with a dummy of his mother, Mrs. Bates. Worst of all, the soundtrack constantly uses the theme from Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

The killer even hums the tune while he’s stalking and slashing. He also wears a pumpkin over his head that has a long nose that makes him look more like a snowman than a lawnmower killer. More than killing, though, he leaves tiny lawnmower toys in surprising places to haunt the kids who, 13 years ago, witnessed the murder spree that sent him to the institution.

Wacko is nowhere nearly smart enough to do a riff on Hitchcock. Why would you try after High Anxiety (1977)? However, there are some funny moments. The slapstick is minimal, and as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I laughed at one really stupid gag. During a car chase, a football player is hit and flies into the window of Sex Ed class, landing on top of the body the students are studying.

Wacko stands above the others in one aspect. It was produced and directed by someone familiar with low budget horror: Greydon Clark of Satan’s Cheerleaders (1977), Without Warning (1980), and The Return (1980) fame. I didn’t say “good” horror. Somehow Clark is always able to convince A-list (or former A-list) stars to appear in his films.

In the past, it has been John Ireland, Yvonne De Carlo, Jack Palance, Martin Landau, Cameron Mitchell, Nevill Brand, Cybill Shepherd, and Raymond Burr. Here, besides Kennedy, it’s Joe Don Baker and Stella Stevens. Julia Duffy was not yet the Newhart star she was to become. Neither was Andrew Dice Clay, the… whatever it is he became.