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Chris Jennings (Feb. 14, 1969)

After I left Collinwood last night, I stumbled through the woods, hunched over and out of breath. I looked up at the full moon and grimaced in pain. At the same time, Mrs. Stoddard was walking through the woods in a red coat. She must have heard me and asked who was there. Just as I approached her and she shouted not to come near her, Amy stepped up beside her, and I knew I had to retreat.

This morning, I woke up in my room at the Collinsport Inn, a path of muddy tracks leading to where I was lying on the floor.

After waking up and cleaning up, I went to Collinwood. Dr. Hoffman had left me a message that Amy had run away from Windcliff, but Elizabeth found her in the woods and brought her home with her. Carolyn Stoddard opened the door and let me in. She told me it had been a long time, but that I hadn’t changed. I replied, “Haven’t I?”

I met Victoria… Clark, who told me she felt like she knew me well because she had been hearing about me all morning. She then took me upstairs to see Amy. “You’re here!” she cried and ran into my arms. Victoria took David Collins into the sitting room next door so I could be alone with her.

She asked where I had been, but I deflected. “That’s not the question. You were supposed to stay in that hospital.” She replied that she was afraid I’d gone away again. I tried to reassure her that I hadn’t, even when she said I might have gone away. I told her that she said that, not I.

She understood that to mean I was going to stay in Collinsport and she could come and live with me. I asked what she would do after I went to work and she said she could take care of herself. When I said, “No,” she asked why she can’t be with me. I told her it just wasn’t possible.

“Why?” she asked, in the persistent voice of a worried child. When I told her I’d like to stay with her more than anything, she said, “Then it’s easy.” I was not winning this battle, so I told her I would find her a nice home in town where she can stay.

I told her I was sorry, but that was the best I could do. Maybe one day I’ll be able to explain it to her. She looked at me with such sad eyes and asked if I was going to take her to a home this afternoon?

I honestly didn’t know what to say; I was kind of winging it. But when she asked if she could stay with me just tonight, I grew impatient. “No! Not tonight.” She replied with the most heartbreaking words I could have heard, “You don’t want me at all!” I tried to approach her and hug her, but she turned and shouted, “No!” I hung my head, said I was sorry, and left the room.

Downstairs, Carolyn told me my plan was ridiculous, that I couldn’t just put her into some home and could let her stay here. I said I couldn’t do that and she asked why not. She said her mother had actually mentioned it this morning and that they had room for her at Collinwood.

Victoria then added that I’d be doing them a favor. Again, I declined the offer and told them that Mrs. Stoddard was much too kind. Carolyn said if they couldn’t convince me, I should talk to her mother, and I followed her upstairs.


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