Classic Horrors Club

Since I’m not a Rob Zombie aficionado, I can’t compare 31 (2016) to House of 1000 Corpses (2003), The Devil’s Rejects (2005), or The Lords of Salem (2012.) However, having seen his versions of Halloween (2007) and Halloween II (2009), I can tell you that it is not as brutal as those two. Don’t get me wrong, it’s brutal, but it’s not watching-Michael-Myers-stomping-on-a-head-brutal. Then again, I may be desensitized.

I wasn’t looking forward to 31 being the final movie for this year’s #countdowntohalloween… the one to which I’d been building for 31 days… but it fit the theme. I will admit, though, that it truly disturbed me and if that’s what you want in a Halloween day film, you’ve got it. Plus, it takes place on Halloween, so it’s appropriate. Zombie apparently formed the idea when he read that more people go missing in the US on Halloween than on any other day.

The fact that it takes place on Halloween in 1976 doesn’t seem to matter. I like the idea that it’s set in the 70s, but it could just as well have been any decade. That’s because once you’re inside “Murderworld,” it’s irrelevant. The five travelers abducted to participate in a twelve hour game of survival for “some mysterious folks” that pay their henchmen “a lot of scratch” to torment and kill them, as well as the game itself, are timeless.

The film has a beginning and ending that are excellent bookends, but the middle is the problem for me. Let’s discuss that first. We’ve had minimal time getting to know the characters. They’re likable enough, but I can’t say I was invested in them surviving. Worse than that, they are strictly fighting back against relentless maniacs with no creative plan to escape. I know they didn’t have time to sit down and make a playbook, but my point is that it’s just mindless violence back and forth.

The uncontrollable onslaught and defense play may be Zombie’s intention, but the opening promised more. Richard Brake plays Doom-Head, a “clown” with patchy white makeup that looks partially worn, or very dirty. Shot in black-and-white and close-up, his long speech to us, and then we learn a victim, Pastor Victor (Daniel Roebuck), is horrifyingly crafted. On its own, this scene would be a fantastic short film.

Then, even though I’ve complained about the middle, the final scene manages to elicit emotion. It’s hard not to spoil, but there’s a little twist and a final survivor. Based on the rules of the game, it’s over. However, the villain has never previously failed and may want another face-off with his prey. It’s a John Carpenter-esque ending that leaves us wondering, “Will they or won’t they?” and the suspense is heightened by the use of Aerosmith’s classic song, “Dream On.”

The use of the song was supposedly the suggestion of Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, whose husband uses her in every one of his films, to some fan dissatisfaction. Maybe her acting has improved over time, but I think she’s perfectly fine as Charly, one of the game players. Underutilized, but impactful in their roles of the “mysterious folks” are Malcolm McDowell as Father Murder, Jane Carr as Sister Serpent, and Judy Geeson as Sister Dragon.

I can’t recommend 31, but only because you know what you’re going to get and you have to make your own decisions about watching it. I’m telling you, though, I watched it two days ago and already can’t remember one distinctive part about the game itself… the meat of the movie. On the other hand, the first few minutes and the last few minutes haunt me. I think it will be a long time before I forget those scenes.