Classic Horrors Club

Doomwatch (1972) is not the movie I thought I would be watching. The title has appeared in my research so many times over the years, that I did a blind-buy of the Blu-ray a while back. IMDb describes it as a “Horror, Mystery.” If anything, it’s science-fiction, but it’s barely even that. It’s more like science-fact with a few genre trappings to make it seem like something more, yet ultimately with an unsatisfactory result.

I also didn’t realize it was based on the BBC television series of the same name. Both depict the “adventures” of  investigators from an ecological watchdog group nicknamed, “Doomwatch.” (It’s actually the “Department for the Observation & Measurement of Scientific Work.”) The movie reportedly reduces the roles of the lead characters of the series and provides a new investigator named Dr. Del Shaw (Ian Bannen.)

Visiting the island of Balfe to collect samples from a recent ecological disaster, Del learns that the inhabitants “don’t cater to visitors.” Even the vicar refuses him lodging, practically shouting, “I can’t help you!” He’s finally offered a room on the outskirts of town from Miss Johnson (Constance Chapman) and finds another lodger across the hall, the school teacher, Victoria Brown (Judy Geeson.)

Although sparks fly when he meets her, there’s no time for romance. Del eventually begs her to help him when he finds dead bodies and interrupts suspicious conversations. She’s the only one who will. The mystery is solved early and a way to reverse the secret illness that has invaded the village is discovered, but the villagers refuse it, believing it’s a result of years of inbreeding or God’s judgement.

The entire suspense of the film comes down to getting people to attend a meeting so that Del can explain what’s happening and what they can do about it. That’s not terribly exciting. It’s not dull, though, just disappointing. Director Peter Sasdy (early-1970s Hammer films such as Taste the Blood of Dracula and Hands of the Ripper)  keeps things moving, but the cast overacts as if it’s injecting some excitement into the story.

The scariest thing about Doomwatch is that nuclear waste is treated casually, like it’s no threat at all. It’s no big deal that the British Navy dumped it in the water at Castle Rock on the other side of the island. Plus, they’ve clearly marked the area as dangerous, so if anyone gets irradiated, it’s clearly their fault. More threatening are barrels of pituitary growth hormone that escape the barrels and affect fish in the area.

The fish grow large, but the locals think nothing of it; it’s just one of the quirky highlights of living on the island. When they eat the fish, though, they develop acromegaly, the disease from which Rondo Hatton suffered. Why does it affect some and not others? It’s because they eat more fish. Accompanying this version of the disease is an increase in anger. The citizens lose their tempers easily and fight each other.

I apologize for not issuing a spoiler alert, but that’s how lackluster both the mystery and the investigation are portrayed. There’s nothing you can’t read about Doomwatch that I didn’t write here. Even the one potential shining star, Judy Geesen, is wasted. Neither the actor nor her character are given anything interesting to do. She doesn’t become a damsel in distress, but neither does she do much beside provide Del with a little moral support.