Classic Horrors Club

Imagine it’s late one Friday night in 1975. You’re leaning back in your recliner, the living room lit only by the glow of your television. On comes ABC’s The Wide World of Mystery, which resides under the umbrella of ABC’s Wide World of Entertainment, the network’s effort to compete with The Tonight Show on NBC.

On any given night, you might have seen a comedy special, a documentary, a concert, or even an episode of the UK anthology series, Thriller. But tonight you get The Werewolf of Woodstock. What would you have made of this light-as-air, shot on videotape story of a hippie-hating old man who’s electrocuted during a storm and becomes a werewolf?

I open with this reflection on a possible past because 49 years later, The Werewolf of Woodstock is nothing if not one big throwback to the past. It takes place a few days after the music festival that drew more than 460,000 attendees to a dairy farm in Bethel, New York between August 15-18, 1969, and opens with a television reporter standing amid a “sea of debris.”

Although the festival had a huge economic impact on the local economy, this movie would make you think the residents had more than a mild distaste of the “lousy,” long-haired hippies that attended. An “older” man name Bert (Tige Andrews), who lives in close proximity, is so angry that he wades through the trash, climbs onto the stage, and starts tearing it apart.

This is during one of the “unusual” electrical storms occurring in the area. As mentioned, Bert’s touched by a live wire and turns into a human sparkler. Wrapped in heavy bandages and confined to his bed, whenever there’s electrical activity in the air, we see his wild eyes bounce back and forth and a huge snout and head of hair emerges.

It’s a strange take on the werewolf story, and one that two visiting police officers from Los Angeles embrace. Maybe Moody (Michael Parks) and Kendy (Meredith McRae) are used to such shenanigans in California, but the local law enforcement official, Lt. Martino (Harold J. Stone) is not. When there are two similar deaths, it’s Kendy who quickly develops her theory.

Meanwhile, a rock band travels to the area to record a demo so they can claim it was recorded at Woodstock. This puts food on the menu for the Bert-wolf, particularly tasty since he hates those lousy hippies. Yet, instead of killing Beckie (Belinda Balaski), he spares her and carries her to his underground lair.

She develops an affection for this creature, even begging him not to go outside when the authorities arrive because he might get hurt. It’s a bit of a King Kong thing. He even grabs her and carries her to the top of an electrical substation, dropping her before reaching its peak. Then, as she lies on the grid crying, he’s (spoiler) shot with a silver bullet and…

…an effigy of the creature falls to the ground. Before this poor, but common, effect, the werewolf makeup isn’t bad. The aforementioned snout reminds me of a chimpanzee from Planet of the Apes and the hair reminds me of, well, a chimpanzee from Planet of the Apes that’s been electrocuted. Another unique feature is feet that look like furry platform shoes.

I experienced an inexplicable amount of fun with The Werewolf of Woodstock, from bizarre details like Moody wearing a knit cap to the recurring skepticism of wisecracking Martino. If none of this makes you smile, then just witness the Bert-wolf hop into a dune buggy to make a speedy getaway. It’s more appropriate for a Saturday morning than a Friday night.